“Emotional Hotline USA.”


What if every time you had a flip of your emotional switch you had an emergency hotline easily accessible to your exigencies?  “711 What’s your Emergency?” the operator would say?

“Pie.  I need Pie” you might answer or you may scream uncontrollably that your dog ate your Powerpoint handout and now you are facing a critical deadline come morning and you must perform with excellence during the Major’s speech on hometown wellness.

Whatever the emotional emergency would be, an established Emotional Hotline USA would be a fun project for those willing to fork over some funding.  Day and night, the phones would ring with jealous wives and belated husbands, wondering why they forgot their third’s wife’s birthday, again.  “Damn, I thought it was the other Elaine’s birthday.”

Scores of calls would possibly come in rainging from serious life and death trauma to a smudge on the toenail after a $60 pedicure.  Teen agers would be pissed at their parents for ganking their phone privileges for not taking out the trash.  Fast Food managers would be calling to complain about turn over for the 6th day in a row.  Bankers would be calling about how stressed they are and that they are sick of smiling at customers when the whole world is blowing up for them at home.  And think about the operators who indeed would be taking all of these calls.  Oh, the stories that could be written.

We fail to understand emotional intelligence in America and this should not be so.  Crying is cleansing and bereaving a lost loved one is necessary.  Mourning a divorce just as you would a death is not all that different of a feeling.  It fucking hurts.  But where in the scope of practice do we see doctors and healthcare professionals teaching us specifically about our emotions and how we need to ……EMOTE.

So what do you think?  Do you think an Emotional Hotline should be established for American so we can get our unestablished emotions in control and out of the closet where they can be seen and felt and heard?  Or is America too cool for an Emotional Hotline?  We don’t want to come across to other Nations as sissy’s.  Right?

Eleanor Elaine Phoenix


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