L is for Loneliness?

L is for loneliness?  No it’s not.  It is supposed to be for Love.  Isn’t it?  But what about for those of us who have recently lost “love” in the sense of losing someone they had once loved, the letter L may not mean Love so much as it does Lonely.

Maybe the loss was a divorce, or a death, or even just a mental loneliness, when one partner moves into a different etheric realm of consciousness, and the other remains the same, the aspect of mental loneliness applies.  As many well know, you can be fully present in a room of one hundred people and still feel very, very alone.  Or, be married for 15 years and one day, wake up all alone in a sea of solitude and serpentine loneliness.

We could also say that L means loss but for this particular emotionally intelligent entry, studying the art and science behind the emotion of loneliness while we study the portrait featured here called “Solitude” by Jean Jacques Henner, is exquisite.



La Magdeleine, by Jean Jacques Henner

The woman here is exhausted and fatigued.  Bare breasted and collapsed into the nakedness of her beaten soul, leaning hopelessly into the wooden colored structure she hopes holds up her mortal forgotten spine, lest she be seen as weak and frail.  But in looking at her sea-foam rugged britches and her robust neck muscles and collarbones, I dare say, this woman was indeed a warrior.

Her flaming red hair speaks of commandment.  Her hands in her lap have a formation of some familiar masonic symbols which represent protection.  Goddess, protection.  She may even be an outcast of sea and land, representing the land of the mermaids, which are forced back to the sea unable to be with their human formed lover.

Loneliness.  Are we left in darkness and solitude only to find companionship again when the penance of karma has been paid?

To define Loneliness, without companionship, is a complicated and unpleasant emotional self giving starvation.  It feels like Isolation.

With or without “persons”, loneliness can be like an empty flower bed waiting to be sewn, or maybe a bit like a spiritual choking.  Loneliness is a loss of Air.  Communication.  Quality.  Loneliness is looking for partnership.  Partnership that will restore and revive a tired soul and see that soul for the passionate fire which it is.

But in the words of someone with a cloudy grey broken heart, who is lonely after a devastating personal loss, we can indeed rest in the hope of this one thing.

“I may choke on the restrictive feeling of loneliness for a bit while longer, but the Angels know the empathic gift of emotional intelligence is medicine for thy soul and today, it will transform me even the darkest of times.  A great Help will come.”


“De-fi-eine Intelligence! The 101 for Knowing.”

De-fi-eine Intelligence!  Did you define it? Is it knowing I spelled this word wrong or is it something greater?  Is it logic or is is cosmic?

Define Intelligence.  Ok, well then let’s do.

Webster says, “Intelligence is the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations.’

or Webster says, “The skilled use of reason.”

I like that one better. 😜

The skilled use of reason starts the moment we wake up each day and, as a therapist, I find many of my clients saying they wake up and enter into mental state of anxiety by starting their day thinking about work and that they have not finished up an explosive inbox of emails and voicemails, as well as children’s duties, doctor visits and parental aging crisis’.  Welcome to America.  You have just entered the emotional intelligence zone.

As a society we look at intelligence as something to be desired.

But what about emotional intelligence?  Do we have a society ready to talk about EI and the importance of getting in touch with our “Feelings” when it comes to being reasonable with others?  There are some people who really do live by an emotional chapter in life and it is not that they cannot cope with the frustrations of daily living, it is that emotions do have their own brain and pathway.   And if intelligence is the skilled use of reason, then emotionally, what does that look like?

Science and Technology are now coming to terms with our ability to sense emotional patterns from another person and for some, who are empathic, can genetically read someone’s sadness or depression even when no words are spoken verbally.

It is similar to American Sign Language.  An emotional language.

Daniel Goldman, Author of Emotional Intelligence, sparked the creative idea to write about emotions here on this site. Daniel, has now gone on to write a book called Social Intelligence.  He is a world known author and speaker.   I hope to continue writing on this topic and following up with my clients (and my own reasoning skills) because as a therapist, in my world, the patterns of pain, sickness and dis-ease are generally a direct result from an emotional issue.  (Eating, depression, lack of energy, or some other inflammatory invasion in our connective tissue, which stores the emotions in our body.)

If you are someone, anyone looking to learn greater knowledge on a 101 level when it comes to emotional intelligence then I invite you to follow this blog and Facebook Page and support my mission.

I hope the passion behind I present in these writings, I hope the information coming soon affects you on a positive note and also, a thought provoking emotionally intelligent note. I also ask, if you have been emotionally highjacked that you will consider a Reiki Clearing Session. ( That is a plug for therapy). 🎶

(This gal be emotionally highjacked)  Look like anyone you know?angry-woman punch

You see, we need to take back ownership of our emotions neurologically and stay in control of your standard and quality for mental health and wellness in order to have healing come in our World.

So is it Logic or Cosmic?   You tell me?  You’re intelligent right?

Holly King





“Emotional Hotline USA.”


What if every time you had a flip of your emotional switch you had an emergency hotline easily accessible to your exigencies?  “711 What’s your Emergency?” the operator would say?

“Pie.  I need Pie” you might answer or you may scream uncontrollably that your dog ate your Powerpoint handout and now you are facing a critical deadline come morning and you must perform with excellence during the Major’s speech on hometown wellness.

Whatever the emotional emergency would be, an established Emotional Hotline USA would be a fun project for those willing to fork over some funding.  Day and night, the phones would ring with jealous wives and belated husbands, wondering why they forgot their third’s wife’s birthday, again.  “Damn, I thought it was the other Elaine’s birthday.”

Scores of calls would possibly come in rainging from serious life and death trauma to a smudge on the toenail after a $60 pedicure.  Teen agers would be pissed at their parents for ganking their phone privileges for not taking out the trash.  Fast Food managers would be calling to complain about turn over for the 6th day in a row.  Bankers would be calling about how stressed they are and that they are sick of smiling at customers when the whole world is blowing up for them at home.  And think about the operators who indeed would be taking all of these calls.  Oh, the stories that could be written.

We fail to understand emotional intelligence in America and this should not be so.  Crying is cleansing and bereaving a lost loved one is necessary.  Mourning a divorce just as you would a death is not all that different of a feeling.  It fucking hurts.  But where in the scope of practice do we see doctors and healthcare professionals teaching us specifically about our emotions and how we need to ……EMOTE.

So what do you think?  Do you think an Emotional Hotline should be established for American so we can get our unestablished emotions in control and out of the closet where they can be seen and felt and heard?  Or is America too cool for an Emotional Hotline?  We don’t want to come across to other Nations as sissy’s.  Right?

Eleanor Elaine Phoenix


What Does the Moon and Emotional Intelligence Have In Common?

Did you know the Moon is recognized as the Element of Water and Water is recognized as the Element of Emotion?  I could stop you right there and have you scratching your head.

If the effect of the moon pulls on our tides, causing our seeds to grow, and sends brain-beater’s to the emergency room in a state of un-rest, you may want to read further.

A full moon affects people with migraines, to murders, to depression and beyond.   If you ask any charge nurse at one of the local hospitals, her sensory reports will show and increase of admitted claims during this cycle.

But what about a Full, Moon in Cancer, on a Tuesday Night in Winter?  How would that effect one astrologically? (or parasympathetically for you Science Nerds).

  1.  The Full Moon is pulling on your water body and your emotions.  You feel the strain.  You are prickly from winter’s harsh cold so you decide whether to laugh in sheer lunacy about this maddening brittle time of year, or you remark that “f” word I have been seeing all over Facebook and try and stay moving.  In either expression, is necessary always keep moving during this season.  Idea: Do some Cardio.
  2. Cancer is the astrological sign of Home and is ruled by the Moon.  So, I would speculate this bitter cold has you home more, trying to set intentions for your New Year and figure out ways to be more successful and prosperous.  The Symbol for Winter is indeed the Money Coin.
  3. The Blue Moon will return again this month on January 31st according to the Almanac.  A Blue Moon is representative of the third moon in an astronomical season. Blue is typically associated with Water, circling back to emotions and expression and if you look at the color of the Throat Chakra symbology,
  4. Blue is the color of Communication.  Writers start to write more.  Painters start to paint more, Business Owners Reset New Goals, it is a time of seed planting.  Germination is coming later, hence make some time to consider your offerings and investments under a Blue Moon is wise.  Makes one feel more in harmony with their business practices.

Are you starting to see the connection to the Moon and your Emotional Needs this time of year?  Or did I just confuse you more?  If so, I offer ASTROLOGICAL consultations at my practice.  Contact Holly Goodyear 502.322.4938 For More Information on the Moon and Your Emotions.


Emotional Intelligence is a new concept.  But from standpoint of the Farmer’s Almanac, the Moon and her gifts need to be acknowledged maybe more than most people even realize.  If you have not had the joys of reviewing the original Farmer’s Almanac then now is the time to do so.  The Original Farmer’s Almanac.  If you have not stepped outside and looked up today, well, you are missing a beautiful sight.  If you have not considered what to do about the Moon and your Emotions, then consider educating yourself about the process.  

Emotional Intelligence is a critical thinking point for our future generations who will struggle with Crop Investing and our Health and Wellness industry would do good to go back to the old days to look more into why our Emotions are so out of whack.  It’s in the numbers, the stars and the shifting tides of the Moon.


Holly Goodyear




“Emotional Failure Is Subject To The Measure of a Man.”

Happy Horse

What is Emotional Failure?  Usually, it is considered by the measure you measure YOUR success.  Success, meaning how much money you have and how many assets you are preserving.  Expectations leading up to measurable goals have fluid practices.  They are movable goals based on the day and the hour you in which you made the goal in the first place.

This would be good advice to those people who feel they are leaving 2017 without a positive bank note.  If you continue to show up, and they have not fired you yet, nor have you closed your doors, then you may want to look more deeply at why you would consider yourself an emotional failure in the first place especially during a holiday when no one is working.  Much.

Let’s look at environment and social mechanisms when we set ourselves up for Failure.  One family sets out a Christmas place setting for 8 and spends ten of thousand dollars on entertaining the family, only to be waking up Dec 26th to a Vodka hangover and black mascara stuck to the false eyelash on the cheek.   Another family jumps up for work not to be late so that they can make another 100 dollars for the day in hopes the light bill doesn’t fall too far behind.

The place setting for 8 included Bob’s boss Harold, who in turn got so drunk over the whole thing, he was arrested for a DUI and locked up in Louisville’s finest provisions.  Now Harold has to explain to his practice how “he knew you had drank too much” but really felt that a few blocks and some peppermint oil was the solution.  He did not feel like a failure.  He just paid his lawyer friend Tommy, to get him off the docket.  Harold has no pathway to emotional failure because his ego has the answer.

Then there is that other man (we will call him Dan) who jumped up today, realizing, that in 7 days, he has another holiday coming up and if he is lucky the boss will give him Dec 31st off a few hours early so he can pick up his kid from Day Care.  They are closing early you know. He get’s to see his baby girl early. 🙂

So which lifestyle is successful and which looks like a failure?  Emotions and “perception of feeling” are the key in understanding concepts of what drives one to a measure of success.

What drives one to drink and what drives one to keep on moving, is that Dan is excited to see his little roll cheerios through her fingers.  He is thankful he has a job.  And he loves his family so the harder times only open doors for more fun times to happen down the road.

Harold, could give a shit that Dan exists and rolls another vodka and tonic under his nose when he gets home from the infirmary.  This is the measure of a man.  In my option Dan is way more successful at winning because he is happy.  He may have to make choices that don’t appear as lucrative or expensive as Harold but at least he is happy.  He thinks life is too short.  Harold thinks his life is dragging on.   Dan has great emotional intelligence and knows he has not failed this year, and is happy to live another day!

So this year, as you close our your books, goals and measures from 2017, I want you to think about the Story of Harold and Dan.  Right now, you are probably either hung over from too much Christmas Vodka or you are getting up for work ready to drive on one more week hoping to make new goals just for the hell of it because success is always measured by the man.  Who is the true Man here and by what lot do you measure?

Eleanor Elaine Phoenix

Author.  Nom de Plum.

Restore Emotional Intelligence Today During Christmas!


Imagine!  In just 24 Hours most of us will be sitting at home or at someone’s home, celebrating Christmas.  We will be sipping eggnog, listening to Uncle Tom’s version of how he shot a rabbit down from a tree with a ratty old Musket.  And, by the time all the kids arrive with their new century iPhones and plastic virtual reality headsets, the turkey will be cold and Granny Potter will be napping next to Sharpie, your brother-in-law’s toy Yorkie.

Or maybe, your that guy that really does want his wife to know he loves her while he hap-less-ly walks the isles of the big box store searching for those warm fuzzy socks she always sleeps in.  If he is lucky, he will remember that her favorite perfume is really cheap and he will find a “B” rated bottle sitting very alone on the shelf next to the mac-a-roni and cheese, the ultimate staple of traditional family Christmas Dinner.

In either case, whether you prefer to be alone on Christmas Day or with a huge bunch of family, emotionally, Christmas Day can be difficult especially for those who have high E.Q.’s.

What is E.Q.?  Emotional Quotient measures heavy and quite frankly translates “empath.”  But, I have great news!  There is hope for those ’empathic” family members who have been handling the increase of community emotion when it comes to holiday’s and tradition.  Those with a lower E.Q. may be running about the hall’s and mall’s of this season’s adventures and be frantically buying gifts for “one more person” realizing home made is best.  Those with a lower E.Q. may not understand that other people’s emotions are typically hidden during the holiday’s for Fear of some type of emotional family confrontation or that one person may be missing another person to have and to hold, by way of death, divorce or just plain ol’ distance.

And then their is the whole scheme of discussing politics, bank accounts and market successes with your companion’s new boss, Marvin, who was invited to the party.  The wealthy family may be holding a glass of wine in a cheer for another notch on the stock exchange while their cousin, Ester, is eating mixed vegetables from a can this year, hoping their last drop of savings holds them over until Feb. 1st.  (When people start spending money again).  So what does Ester do?  She wishes for a financial rebound and she trusts in the path of her Emotionally Intelligence and wills for other’s to realize the too, have E.Q. and will work on harmoniously expanding her horizons.

So why Emotional Intelligence?  At first glance, Ester’s lower energy centers could flare off in anger that her stock crashed this year, while Marvin, reaches 2 million in assets and annuities.  Her face could be flushed, tears could well up in her eyes, and she could drive home in hatred for someone having a happier story this year than hers.

But do you know what Ester’s got that other’s do not?  A High E.Q.!  Ester is grateful for the can opener that opened the can, that went on the stove that fed her son one more meal, that sparked the idea to do something different and smile, all the while, in the middle of her adversity.  Ester, brought Great Joy to the party, and a bit of Spiritual Enlightenment.  Ester added stock to her E.Q. when she realized that Money, was really and illusion and the Love of Money, well………….has roots that she would rather not invest in.

Christmas in America tends to be piloted by extravagant gifts, the number of lights on your house, and how many dishes you can crank out in one setting.  But we need it to be about understanding the emotions and being a light to those around you during the season of darkness.  It is in the darkest of times, where lights and candles shine so brightly.  That is the light of Christmas.

Today, we at EIT, as you to work more with your Emotional Intelligence this Christmas than your Artificial Intelligence and enjoy the upcoming articles to come in 2018.  Subscribe Today and Share with a Friend.

In The Highest Emotional Intelligence.

Eleanor Elaine Phoenix


“The Letter H. Raising The American Flag When It Comes To Happy!”

Happy Horse1


Well, I dunno?  Have you?  Have you arrived at the most coveted of feelings, aka……Happiness?  If not, then stick around and maybe I can help define this “★★★★ Star Emotional General” in the manner which our country intended.  USA established the preamble for the United States of America for every citizen to measure their “happiness” factor by.  Ok.  Are we there yet?   

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

Ok, Happy is not mention but the insinuation sure the hell is!  This paragraph should be posted at every stop sign, school house, church house and homeless shelter erected in our country as an intense reminder that WE, have the right, to be Happy.  There is no way, you should live in the most diverse and evolving civilization on the planet and not find Happiness when this was the intent of our forefathers establishment.  Right?

Happy or Happiness is defined by Google in the following ways………

  1.  delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing:  to be happy to see a person.

      2.      characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy or a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.

3.  favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky:  a happy, fruitful land.

4.  apt or felicitous, as actions, utterances, or ideas.

5.   obsessed by or quick to use the item indicated (usually used in combination): a trigger-happy gangster. Everybody is gadget-happy these days.

Now, for the purpose of this message, look again at #3.  Favored by fortune, lucky, or a happy, fruitful land.  Hum………………this surely is what our status in life is all about.  Well, instead of taking this blog in a negative direction, today, it makes me Happy, to accent the positive so let me explain what it means to ME, to be Happy.

I, am more geared toward defining Happiness as definition #2.  The state of Mind.  Because I see that Happiness is MY choice.  And as nice as it was for my uncle to give me hope for prosperity and fortune by way of the “people speech” something is still lacking……..I KNOW that things in life are going to cause shit to stir at any given moment but, when I launched these “project me” projects a few years ago, I allowed “Happy” to rule and govern my journey and so far, this general emotion has not failed me yet.

It was after facing years of turmoil and bondage in the form of “unhappiness” that I decided to turn around and fight unhappinesses from the other side.

Why fight for happiness?  

Shouldn’t it just “come” to us without fighting “for” it?

For some yes.  For some people, they are skilled enough to look at life as a simple little process and all they have to do is show up and everything works out for them.

They are not the norm.  But those happy little aliens exist.  In some way, natually happy people, with their internal conditioning, are never phased and they live on Cloud 9 Happiness with no worries, no frustrations and most of the time, no debts.

They are what I would call the “gliders.”

But I am more of a gladiator when it comes to holding onto my place in the Rainbow. 🌈

As a class rate American “city-zen”, my life hasn’t been horrible but I have been exposed to very resistent mental challenges.  Like high levels of stress really.  Mega-levels.

My excessive stressors (mostly self inflicted) and mental challenges are certainly “workable” but how do we susceptible one’s (empath’s) take on all of the blame for those dark experiences which plague us, and consume our Happy with no apologies?  It all depends on the willingness to keep your Happy.  Yup.  Fight to BE Happy.  Some of us just have to do it that way.  We ARE Warriors.

But for some reason, by these counterproductive experiences that we empathic American’s become “challenged” to hold onto real happiness.  Our right to cultural happiness according to the “preamble” wanes when we are exposed to excessive exposure in these social areas:  (Empath’s Pick Up On Planetary Disruptions Naturally).

  1.  Racism.  This is term is self explanatory but the growing social hatred is unexplainable and unacceptable.  We really could stop this trend if we wanted to.  But we don’t.  We feed it.  Stealing Happiness from Others unlike us.  Vampires!
  2. Political Wars.  Coming from a country that destroyed more male lives between the year 1861-1865 than we can count, we see such hatred coming from our own governmental parties and yet, behind the scenes they all laugh and dance and sing toasting glasses of wine and Bourbon.  They are appearing happy to serve us after hours and become a WONDERFUL part of the solution. Puke.
  3. Unfair Wages.  I understand that the fast food industries, retail markets and industrial economics has to be able to speed their revenues in ways to secure enough jobs to support the working “masses” but since the industrial revolution started in 1760 and ended sometime in 1840 or 1860, where is it that we have not figured out how to revive the preamble? When is government and big corp going to quit  all the nonsense by funding excessive amounts of welfare? (And I mean excessive amounts…….and can I tell you, I do NOT see happiness in the eyes of those receiving welfare.  it is just not there).  But I do see, jobs available and when you are happy and willing to do what you need to to survive, your attitude takes you a long way.  And if there was some form of measure to see working humans as valuable, we may see some serious change.  Some of the most amazing rags to riches stories are out there.  I mean come on…..look at Oprah and yes, she does give a lot away.  She makes an effort to showcase others and thank  them for being themselves and being happy.  It is all about how we are REALLY treated when we serve and work.  Then we may WANT TO GO TO WORK EACH DAY verses mooching off the government welfare system and stay high.  Just sayin’
  4. Excessive Taxation-I am happy to share my portion with the state to fund schools, roads, public transportation, elderly care, (if they cannot care for themselves but)………I do not think we give out enough resources to live happy and healthy in the first place and that is the problem.  It is not dispersed properly.  It is proven that geriatric massage, art therapy, pet therapy and music therapy stimulates nerves and muscles even in the elderly and sick.   Have you seen an old person dance?  Have you ever gotten a massage after a stressful week?  It is a game changer.  But insurance won’t cover it and if it did, the LMT would get a portion of the money.  A SMALL portion.  Have you ever seen a humble man playing in the park with his family and throwing ball with his dog.  Well, if he doesn’t have that dog tagged, he gets a ticket.   WTF?  Is he driving the dog?  I am fine with shots but a tag?  That is bull!
  5. Yes, more on taxes.  Have you noticed if you buy and sell a car in the same you you pay sales tax and property tax (the full amount) on the car you sold and the car you bought even if you owned the old car one day.  They are double taxing us on property taxes.  There are a few other good reasons for taxes like clean water and flushing our toilette knowing that the poop is being cared for properly.  But excessive taxes make me unhappy and it is hidden behind a lot of other stuff.    THIS DOES NOT LINE UP WITH THE PREAMBLE.  This takes away from my American Happy.

By now you are probably thinking I have reverted back to griping about unchangable social issues and not keeping to the program by inserting my social opinions about how I view Happiness, but you see………..

Happiness did not come easily for me.  Jokingly, I am jovial, excitable, whitty and upbeat in public spaces, but when I am alone, that is when, my thoughts flood my experience and I must use the proper tools to combat monkey mind.   For most of my life, it was about living the American Dream.  But my American Dream does not look like yours, nor yours mine.  However, we are still facing the same global challenges that “tax” our ability to confidently approach true happiness.   We are our own worst enemy and no one is going to help us along.  Especially not society!

I haven’t told a lot of people this so here goes.  Years ago I was diagnosis as a manic depressive and possible bi-polar.  I was extremely suicidal most of my middle school and high school years because people made fun of me all the time.  Then through low self esteem and a need for acceptance, I was medicated to shut off my feelings and for much of my late 20’s and early 30’s, in order to handle the dysfunctional mental breakdowns I became a work-a-holic.   But even then,  I felt I never added up to much and by the time I was 38 years old, I said FUCK all that, this is all my doing and no one is going to make me happy!   I have to get control of my emotional patterns and figure this out now!    I choose to look for real happiness by listening more closely to my patterns and I had to be willing to face my demons!  And boy did I take the bull by the horns!  8 seconds my ass!  More like forever!

I realized I had a terrible case of Monkey Mind (mind control) and it was the #1 killer of my internal Happiness.  “Your not good enough.  Your too fat.  You don’t have enough Money. Your Job is A Dead End Life Suck.  You will NEVER be a writer, actor, singer, dancer, MOVIE STAR!”  (Kid dreams right?  Well, I got you there because I AM a Movie Star now!  I have Facebook)!

Monkey Mind is this BIG opposing gladiator that will try to slice through your external covering to test you on how you are really doing and will you make it another day?   And if you ask someone how they are and that someone says to you in a stale tone, “I Am Fine” then that is a key indicator that Monkey Mind is speaking and they really don’t know who they are anymore.  People that say that, are not happy.

Monkey Mind carries piercing thoughts of “what if, if only, and why me?”  These words are Happy Day mashers every stinkin’ time!

They are the instincual monkey’s always comparing themselves to the status quo and are deadly all happy factors.   (As Primal as the root can get.)  Me!  Me!  Me!  Selfish and unproductive thoughts.  They are mean, nasty and disruptive.  Do you have a monkey on your back American?

Hey, in my final thought, and since the preamble was set us for us to believe it is every American’s right to pursue happiness, well then in my opinion, happiness becomes a matter of capital gain.  And I am Happy, today, to say, I have Happy in my mental bank account.  Yesterday, I had happy too.  Tomorrow, most likely, I will still have Happy to deposit.   It is the best GNP money can’t buy so take that all  you bad people!  I am still here!

Has someone or something taxed you to the point of unhappiness?  Address it.  Draw your Sword to Fight for it and Swing.  If you need clinical help, then get it but chances are, Happiness is not going to come in the form of a pill but is being eaten by a Gorilla or something.  But try anything to just “get ya some.”

What do you really have to lose?